I learnt a lot this long weekend...
yesterday I went bowling for the first time in my life...First 4 times I just couldnt bowl at all..my ball was going sideways if I threw it with one hand, the ball was too heavy for my delicate hands..Then I tried bowling just using both my hands without holding the ball with my fingers..and then it started working...
it was wonderful to play games..
I grew up in a small village/town with no opportunities, I studied under trees or in huts, that is where our classrooms were..we never played any games..I kinda got into debating, quiz, essay writing competitions all intellectual stuff and did nothing physical to challenge my body..last few years here in US Iwas too busy working that never played any games much but for an occasional baseball game with folks at work which was a thrilling adventure for me..I realised that it is so so important and so much fun to play sports, games..I want my children to play sports, games..
cant even believe I got up this morning with my hands aching from my yesterdays bowling..that is how delicate I am..too bad..
I want to play cricket, basketball, tennis and hope I can do all that in this life..
playing sports is fun and is important..weekend wisdom..
what else
Most girlfriends I met this weekend all talked about their boyfriends or boys they are meeting except me..They all ask my advice and they all say I give great despite despite my lack of inexperience of having never dated a guy or never had any boyfriends ever in my life..
Some complained about mamas boys, some about irresponsible guys, some about guys who dont talk or are emotionally incapable of opening or talking..since some of my friends are american and some are indian, I realised one big thing this weekend after all those conversations on relationships..
Doesnot matter if the boy is american or indian problems are kinda the same..They all have same problems..
My advice to my girlfriend If ur boyfriend is a mamas boy, dont worry that much..if he loves his parents he will love u too, that shows he is capable of loving someone dearly...but make sure he respects and gives u importance too and listens to you. Guys dont realise the girl is leaving her family and comes into ur life to spend the rest of her life with you..so you need to give her importance as much or more than your mom or dad because she will do the same for you and will give you more importance than her mom or dad..
To me our parents are very important, I would give up my life for them..but I would also give up my life for the man I love..so it is like two eyes both are important, you cannot function without either..
our moms and dads are very important and we all need to take care of them and do our duties as good sons and daughters but it is also important that we need to fulfill our duties are husband or wife and built a new life together..moms and dads lived their life and their dreams, they need to give space for kids to live their life and their dreams..To all those interfering in laws, remember if u love ur daughter in law like ur daughter, she will give u ten times that love and take care of you..spread love..
my weekend wisdom to my friends..
One more friend talked about how guys dont call , they dont write emails, they dont respond emotionally..I think I experienced that too..I had guys who barely talked to me , barely wrote emails but wanted to marry me...I understand why my indian girlfriends are frustrated with indian guys..are they emotionally not that intelligent though most of them are very smart professionally..probably...
But I think we girls go with the intention that we want to marry, have kids ( yap like all my friends even I want that, cant wait to have kids) while I think boys dont want the same..I dont looking at my experiences I feel like indian boys look for chemistry and they think if they find a good looking girl or girl that is attractive to them, has a nice job and is a nice girl whom they feel will cook and take care of them they want to marry but they dont care to emotionally connect to them, they dont care to talk or build a relationship or write emails or make calls..
My advice to my friend if a guy has no time to write emails or call, dont give him that much importance, my philosophy is if u dont have time to spare or even write an email to me you wont have time for me even after marriage..If u dont call or make time to know me before marriage, u will never do that after marriage and u are only looking at superficial things about me. May be we girls should also learn to be cool like boys..be unattached, not return calls, not write emails back until the boys write I dont know there are no true solutions to that I guess.. I can never marry a guy with whom I dont have emotional connection, can never marry a guy who doesnot write emails to me often or cal me, can never marry a guy who does not have an emotional depth to him and does not open out to me and tell me all his problems or feelings the way I do..no way..so I couldnot tell my friend to ignore all that marry a guy who says yes even though he doesnot call or write..
Also since I went through two men who wanted dowry or money, it is hard to figure out what the true intentions of guys..I hope it is more than horoscopes, dowry,money, job or looking at me as a girl who has takes care of parents and would cook and clean for me too..yap I had that, the first guy I came close to marrying when my dad was dying told me he fell in love withme because he never a met a girl who does so much for her family unselfishly like me..but ofcourse in addition to that he wanted diamonds, rolex watches and money..
When I was young I thought marriages are so easy looking at all my elder cousins marry meeting guy for ten minutes..all arranged marriages..Living in america and having come close to marriage twice through arranged marriages and not choosing either to marry now I dont think todays marriages are easy specially for girls specially for indian girls living in US for a long time..
I dont what the solutions are..but all I pray I meet someone who is a nice never married person my age or a lil younger to me is also ok and reads crazily books like me and is a strict vegetarian and lived in US for a long long time and can laugh at seinfeld jokes and gets them..someone whom I cannot live without, as simple as that someone without whom I cannot live anymore..and I hope the man I marry also feels the same way..
anyways...
weekend wisdom, I get to know so much about relationships without really experiencing them..having girlfriends who are in and out of relationships helps understand boys and their ways better.
what else..
Iam busy with new projects at work.more new drug screens for more diseases...more and more work..
Iam busy being chair of lot of other stuff..like chairing picnic Iam planning for all Indians at work this sunday which Iam looking forward to,Iam running a bone marrow drive too there so hopefully it will go good... Iam also busy with other stuff...like chairing volunteer activities and organizing them.. going to be busy with a diwali event we are planning for ceos and all indians at work,big big event organization which is such a unlikely job for a scientist but since everyone thinks I have great organization skills Iam chairing it again...I think seeing my dad manage 500 employees somewhere down the way me and my sis picked up a lot of leadership skills...we both can manage 500 employees, we can address big crowds, inspire people, spread energy around..thanks to my dads genes and moms down to earth realistic outlook we both sisters got great ideals, values and skills...Iam glad my parents were very strict..
so my life looks all busy with my scientist job and all the other event organizing stuff..
as usual my personal life ofcourse suffers..no love..no marriage..no kids or boyfriends..life goes on..hopefully it will change someday..I guess the guy has to come looking for me, cant look anymore, god seems to be keeping me too busy with other stuff.
my personal life and love ,my novel to finish, my writing group work everything waits for some good inspired lucky day...God knows when that day will come..
I listened to this fav. kishore da after so long..probably the song carries some of my spirit..
yeh shaam mastani madhosh kiye jaa..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sZg4EUB3IM
what else..
I watched a cute vijay genelia tamil movie sachen..
I like genelia, she is an excellent actress with a fresh face..she is so much like me in this movie bommarillu..her character is so much like me super talkitive girl..
iam looking forward to seeing jaane tuna...imrankhan and genelia aamir khan movie, cant wait to see it..
books Iam reading..rather barely getting to read
punjabi century, audacity of hope,my revolutions..
news that interested ..
nothing in specific..sometimes I need more excting news to interest me..most of the news I read these days is expected.
week looks hectic with work...weekend looks hectic with picnic and all that jazz I need to organize and do..life goes on...
